I don't want it to be true, but it is.
This is not about me. That is just my background. If you know me in real life, keep reading, this applies to you. If you don't, keep reading and see if we have anything in common.
I live in two very separate bubbles. On one hand, I live in a small town in New Hampshire. I grew up in an even smaller town in New Hampshire. I could count on my fingers the number of students in my school who weren't white, and that was in a public school comprised of three towns. I grew up in a hunting family, surrounded by gun lovers. We never went into the city unless it was to go visit a doctor in Boston. I don't even know how to use public transportation! I did not grow up practicing, or even really knowing anything about, any religion. I'd say I grew up pretty culturally sheltered. I still live within 20 minutes of where I grew up and went to school. A lot of us still live here. And a lot of us are terribly racist.
I've been trying to write this for a week now...It still doesn't seem real.
I ran the Boston Marathon!
I had big fears going into this race. BIG FEARS. I was afraid of my feet and my legs (getting injured). I was afraid of the weather (overheating). I was afraid of not finishing (what I thought would mean failing).
I felt pressure from so many people watching me, both in person and online. What if I choked in front of all of them?
But I was also extremely excited! Boston is an iconic race and living in the area makes it feel both like my hometown race and the prestigious HONOR that it is to run.
That's something that I don't think a lot of non-runners realize. The true honor that it is to run this race. (I had no idea about this before I ran.)
One week to go and so many thoughts...
I'm nervous and excited.
I'm feeling unprepared, but know I'll make it. (I'm accepting the fact that I have once again been terrible at training.)
I'm panicking at the amount of fundraising I still have to do. (Feel free to support Mass Eye and Ear!)
I'm nervous that my old injuries will act up.
I'm nervous that I will fail.
BUT, I'm super excited to experience the Boston course and the excitement of the crowds.
While also nervous about the crowds at the same time.
But still excited. It's very confusing!
The months are going by faster than I could have imagined and I'm alternating between panic and excitement. Some days I think about running through the crowds of cheering people in Boston and get the nervous, excited butterflies. Some days I have pain in my foot or knee or any other imaginable part of my body and doubt if I'll even be able to do this.
But that's half the fun. Not knowing, but going for it. Pushing limits. Sticking to things you committed to, even when they seem crazy, in both running and fundraising.
Hi, I'm Jessie!
I live in NH with my husband and our pup. My favorite things are coaching Girls on the Run, eating good food that I didn't have to cook, helping other people work on their health, volunteering for and running races, watching tv, doing yoga, and spending too much time on social media. #Balance